Conflict management
Although conflicts can often trigger unpleasant feelings, there is also great opportunity and potential to be had in them. They can frequently be traced back to unmet needs or hurt feelings. With the help of conflict management methods, these causes can be identified in an empathetic manner, and conflicts can be resolved in a goal-oriented and sustainable way.
At what point does one speak of a conflict?
Conflicts are a part of our working and private lives. About two thirds of the German population regularly experience conflicts in their immediate environment. Studies on conflicts in the workplace also show that on average 15% of working time in German companies is spent on conflict management. But at what point does one speak of a conflict? Conflict researcher Friedrich Glasl defines a conflict as an interaction between two or more participants in which at least one of the persons involved experiences incompatibilities and feels affected by them. There are various signs that can indicate a conflict, such as a tense and irritable atmosphere or the formation of cliques.
What opportunities do conflicts offer?
Conflicts are often seen as something negative because they usually trigger unpleasant feelings on an emotional level. For those involved, conflicts can be stressful and energy-draining, which is why open discussion or confrontation is avoided. However, conflicts also offer a great opportunity and the potential to learn.
Conflicts make us aware of where there are challenges or a need for clarification and help us to understand what we can do ourselves to deal with these situations.
Conflicts challenge those involved to try out new ways of behaving or dealing with things, or to review old attitudes, habits and convictions. They make it clear that something has to be changed.
Without tangible pressure, there is often a lack of drive and determination to tackle explosive issues and actively address problems.
Conflicts allow us to get to know ourselves and others better. Through conflict, we learn what annoys us, hurts us, makes us uncomfortable, what is important to us and how we react when others compete with us, for example.
Crises that have been overcome bring us closer together. The inevitable friction in daily cooperation is de-dramatised and objectified.
The views of the other side, which might be difficult to understand at first, spark an interest in getting to the bottom of the matter, which, in turn, can lead to new insights.
The participants come to understand that a problem or a situation can be seen and evaluated in very different ways. Looking at it from a different angle deepens understanding of the problem and increases the chances of finding a new and creative solution.
Differences of opinion and disputes force us to think through a decision carefully, to weigh up conflicting alternatives and only then to decide on a solution.
In order to deal with a conflict constructively, one must first transcend one's own point of view. Putting oneself in the other person's shoes and seeing things from their perspective strengthens empathy, the ability to cooperate and creativity, and contributes to the development of relationships based on mutual respect.
Non-violent communication as a method of dealing with conflict situations
As soon as tensions or other indications of conflict are perceived, they should be responded to. Marshall B. Rosenberg’s four steps of non-violent communication provide a helpful approach to dealing with everyday communication, and conflict situations and to preparing for conflict resolution, being based on empathetic and respectful communication.
